"My Writing Experience". Anti Essays. 7 Nov. 2017

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Your first paragraph begins by talking about your interest in criminology and ends by talking about your experience taking Writing 30. Your second paragraph begins by talking about your first day at Rogue, but then moves on to talking about your first assignment. Your third paragraph begins by talking about your desire to learn about punctuation and grammar, but then switches to a different topic and doesn't mention that desire again. So what these three paragraphs have in common, then, is the fact that they start out talking about one topic and end up talking about another one. A good way to improve the organization of an essay is to divide the essay into distinct topics, and a good way to do that is to devote each paragraph to a distinct topic. Often we do this by making the first sentence of the paragraph a topic sentence (a sentence that implicitly or explicitly identifies the topic of the paragraph as a whole) and then devoting the rest of the paragraph to elaborating that one topic.

My Writing Experience - Essay by Kgiles

To improve the essay as a whole, the essay needs to have a clear purpose, and that purpose needs to be clear from the beginning. I was unable to tell from your opening paragraph what your essay was about. In an argumentative essay (an essay that makes an argument) we usually develop a thesis at the outset. Your essay relates your experience in a writing class, so you don't need a thesis, but you do need to clarify in summary form what you have to say about that experience. If you had written an essay about how you came to realise your teacher had been trying to help you while you had been putting pressure on yourself, then the last sentence of the first paragraph could have served as a clarification of the purpose of the essay. But the essay is about something else. You describe all of the assignments that you were required to complete and how you felt about your attempt to respond to those assignments. What's not clear form your essay is what you feel you learned from those experiences generally. You note at the end that "writing essays ... can be a bit difficult until you get the hang of it." Is there a way to explain how you came to get the hang of it. More generally, is there a way to explain what you learned about yourself and the writing process? Asking yourself a question like that (what did I learn about myself and the writing process?) might give you a sense of purpose in writing your essay. Your task then would be to think about how (and ensure that) every paragraph contributes to accomplishing that purpose.

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